My Kids Might Be Ugly

My brother’s children are beautiful. I know this is what every aunt should say of their kin, but mine are particularly beautiful. My nephew is turning 10 this year and he’s already got the makings of a heartbreaker.
 

And then there’s my sister’s kid and, well, his face just screams Baby Gap commercials.
 

So I started thinking: if 3 out of 3 of my sibling’s children came out pretty, what are the chances that I’ll spawn something that looks anything like human? My older siblings totally did me wrong; they went ahead and populated the world before I could and in doing so, nabbed all the good genes for themselves. (Yes, that is my understanding of how genetics work).
 

But I got news for them! I strongly believe in nurture vs. nature. So, while they can tout their children’s pretty faces to society, my genetically disadvantaged children will be groomed to take over the world…problem solved.